Aren't you even gonna kiss her goodbye?

No.

Yesterday we watched "Big Trouble in Little China," a mid-eighties supernatural action film starring Kurt Russell as our intrepid hero, Jack Burton.

In San Francisco with his sixteen-wheeler, Burton meets up with his old friend, man-child Wang, and after witnessing the finest dance-fighting San Francisco has to offer, they get tied up in mad hijinks involving lots of sewers and large, large hats. Wang's bride has been kidnapped, and only Jack Burton can get her back! Kim Catrall costars. Yes, seriously.

"Big Trouble" is a cult favorite among the people who live at 909 Dakin Street. Pretty much anything that comes out of Jack Burton's mouth (I no longer think of him as Kurt Russell at all) is bound to get repeated a few times. Because he's a genius.

I'd like to write a serious review of the movie like I don't get the joke, but I do get the joke. The whole movie is meant to be humorous. I think. Take this example: Jack Burton and Wang are standing in a elevator, and it starts filling with water. Burton: "What??? What is this??" It's water, Jack. Water.

I kinda thought I would hate this movie. I hate most things Tony Storti likes, and I hate Kurt Russell. But Tony was right this time, and like I said, Kurt Russell died and Jack Burton took his place. I recommend this movie wholeheartedly to anyone who likes jokes. Do you like jokes?

Positives: To the army and navy, and the battles they've won,
Negatives: To the colors of America, the colors that never run.
Grade: May the wings of freedom never lose a feather.

No actually that's a toast that takes place in the movie. Why? Heh.

Grade: A. Watch it with someone with a sense of humor. You will love it.