You want politics? I'll put your ass to sleep with politics.

Tony asked me about the elections in a comment to yesterday's post. As you might know, the field is narrowing. Edwards just dropped out, as well as America's Nosferatu, Rudy. I think Kucinich is out, if he was ever really in. I think that leaves:

Republicans: Huckabee, Romney, McCain, Paul.
Democrats: Obama, Clinton, Gravel.
What the fuck: I heard Ralph Nader and NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg are considering.

So I'm going to take a look at each candidate one-by-one, and hopefully help everyone understand just who sucks the least.

First of all, Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas. Huckabee is a bad person and must be ridiculed. Hmm yes tell us about your brilliant ideas please.
EVOLUTION: "If anybody wants to believe they're the descendants of a primate, they'e welcome to do it." --answering a question about evolution
IRAN: "The point I'm trying to make is that, on the campaign trail, nobody's going to be able, if they've been campaigning as hard as we have been, to keep up with every single thing, from what happened to Britney last night to who won 'Dancing with the Stars.'" --explaining why he was unfamiliar with the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran's nuclear capability
STARS AND BARS: "You don't like people from outside the state telling you what to do with your flag," he told an audience in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. "In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we'd tell them where to put the pole."
GAY MARRIAGE: "I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal."
THEOCRACY: "I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."
And here's Wikipedia's summary of his political positions. He's never been right about anything. He's just extremely conservative, anti-gay marriage, anti-immigrant, pro-Israel, and totally fucking dumb.

Huckabee gets an F.

Ah God I can embed videos

I will do nothing else. WATCH THESE IT IS IMPORTANT


Haha Ron Paul. You're breaking his heart, America.


This video is the best video.


Joe and I watched YouTube videos that we found through "[any song] cover" searches when he visited a while ago. Here's one we didn't see, enjoy the noise.

Seriously, watch those videos. They are funny.

Hahaha tell me this isn't a great video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHupdlQElnI

Please watch all of magic hat detective's videos. They are wonderfully funny.

Now I'm going to try to embed the video (???).



BEAUTY

More thoughts on food

Specifically, the results of eating food. Here is what I mean: I went to Wing Stop last night and bought these things called chicken wings. They were pretty good, I would say, and I liked eating them. When I finished, I washed my hands, because that's what you do when you eat chicken wings. They all greasy. But even after I washed my hands I could still smell those damn chicken wings. I even washed them two or three times, and the smell persisted like some Macbethian nightmare. Eventually the horror ended, I think when I took a shower the next morning (this morning), but let's just say the story doesn't end there. Oh, no. There were leftovers. So right now my hands smell like chicken wings again. I might resort to extreme solutions (use of hand lotion clearly designed for the ladies, to cover the smell). I think this will define my night.

I'd love to comment about current events but you know what I'm not gonna. They just aren't very interesting. About the only thing that I've been following--vaguely--is the race for the nominations, and I'm thinking all of the Republicans are really dumb.

An update on bus rides: much less smelly. Today I took the bus a longer distance than usual and nobody smelled at all. I even stayed awake!!! Except for the last two blocks or so. I always crash then, you know, right when I need to be awake. Didn't miss my stop, though.

Tomorrow I start work, but I don't have any appointments. No surprise for the beginning of the semester. Sitting around!

Love,

Steve

I hate how pretzels get lodged in your teeth

It really bothers me. PRETZELLLLLSSSSS!!!!!!

Teresa and I saw two movies last night. Our friend Dan wanted to see No Country for Old Men, but when I told him I had hardly seen any movies by the Coen brothers, he told us to watch The Hudsucker Proxy as preparation. So we watched both back-to-back last night.

The Hudsucker Proxy came out in 1994, and stars Tim Robbins as a small-town boy named Norville Barnes who moves to New York to get a job "in business." He gets a job in the mail room at Hudsucker Industries, where he hopes to pitch his brilliant new idea--a circle. When the president of Hudsucker commits suicide, the board members realize they can't get to his stocks--the stocks are going to be sold on January 1 to the public. For the board to get control of the company, they need to kill the stock price and make Hudsucker unappealing to other investors, so they can buy up the stock themselves. So, they decide to choose a fall guy as the new president, and they choose Norville Barnes.

It's set in the 1950s, and most of the comedy comes from various attitudes and mannerisms of people in that era--particularly the female newspaper reporter assigned to cover the new leader of Hudsucker, Jennifer Jason Leigh. Her fast-talk exchanges with her boss and her co-worker, Bruce Campbell, are really hilarious. Tim is good, of course, and Paul Newman is nice and evil as the power-hungry capitalist. There are a few scenes that might stretch your patience--one sequence of characters laughing on and on is a little tiring, for example--but it's really good and definitely indicates the Coen brothers' love of older films and certain themes (inevitability and time, especially).

Then we saw No Country for Old Men, and I thought it was really awesome. First, it's very tense. It has almost no music, which I think helps create tension. Also it probably helps that the villain is scary as fuck. I won't give anything away, but I enjoyed it a lot, and I recommend it highly.

And today I'm doing nothing. It's gonna be great. I need to transfer all my files from my old computer, including all my music and stuff, so I might do that. All I have is a flash drive, might take a while. Oh well. When I do that I will edit my stories I have saved on there and probably post them, who knows.

Love,

Steve

I saw lotsa birds

Okay here's what I do: I get on the bus across the street from our apartment, at a bus stop near a park. Here, look:


View Larger Map

We live in the building in the lower right, the one going north-south. That upper overhang on the left side of the building is basically our apartment, except we live on the bottom floor. I cross Mississippi, then Quebec, and the bus stop is under that first tree on Mississippi, where there's a little strip of lighter pavement. That is where I get on the bus.

The past two days I've been standing on the upper-right corner of that intersection, looking west across Quebec, and there have been geese in the park. If you want to see the park, you can scroll that map. Here is a goose:



Well, that's two geese. Anyway, the past two days I have seen flocks of geese fly east to west over my head. When I say "flocks," I'm not talking about 10-20 geese. I am talking about like at least 250. I mean when I look left and right down Quebec I can see geese everywhere. This might appear to be an exaggeration or lie but it is not. There are lots and lots of geese in the air, all going the same direction, honking away.

It is fucking crazy. I look forward to it every day now.

Oh hey I forgot

I forgot to point out, the "blog description" at the top of this page is different. It now incorporates my favorite expression: ???.

I don't know why I like ??? but I will be using it a lot. Here's how to use it:

I have a class on Monday and Wednesday, and I had another but decided to drop it. Four classes is too many. ???

There you go. Just a little example. Enjoy!

And one more thing: why is my tongue burned? Fucker. ???

Yes, I swear I will write things.

I've decided to post daily on the blog. I will post...in the morning? Probably. Let's get started.

I finally started school Tuesday. Here is what I want to talk about: the bus. I took the bus all last semester, RTD-Denver route 11, westbound for school and eastbound back. But this semester I don't have any morning classes, so I'll be taking it in the afternoon and evening. I don't like it as much. In the morning there are usually a lot of high school kids, and they...smell acceptable. I think you follow me?

The classes I'm taking are cool. Again I have a class similar to one I took at UD, so I'm basically the best at that ever and I'll get 110% on everything. Then there's "Rhetoric and the Body," a special topics class, that focuses on rhetoric and disability. We shall see what that means. It looks interesting. Tonight is my last class, Teaching Second-Language and Second-Dialect Writers, and I'm assuming that class will be interesting.

I started writing a story the other day...by which I mean about 15 days ago...and it looks good, but it's not done. I will post it here when I like it enough. I will probably send it to my editor Patrick Coate first.

Teresa and I got new computers from Dell. They are pretty. Sadly, our internet connection is as bad as ever.

I am sure you would like to hear my many opinions on the presidential candidates, but I will only share with you this, for now: Ron Paul is horrible. Please avoid him.

Okay, welcome back. Please check back often as I will actually be writing things down these days.

<3

Steve