Jason has returned.
For those who don't know, Jason Kramb met a girl in Arkansas while he was doing research over the summer. Her name is Lucija and she's from Montenegro.
So he went to see her and her family in Montenegro over Christmas break. He flew there the week after school ended, and came back a few days after school started. He has to make up everything he missed, which I guess is more than you might expect of the beginning of the semester.
We (the rest of the house) were speculating that he would come back 1. engaged or 2. an expectant daddy (or, I guess, 3. both) but he says no.
Anyway, I like Lucija. She was here briefly last semester and it was fun.
But she makes him use his cell phone. And this is unforgivable.
See, when we started living together sophomore year, exactly one of us had a cell phone.
Tony: no
Sam: no
Steve: no
Jason: no
Mikey: no
Beard: yes.
Then during the summer between sophomore year and this year, our cell phone ownership went up (and, I suspect, our IQs plummeted).
Tony: no
Sam: no
Steve: no
Jason: yes
Mikey: yes
Beard: yes.
And after this Christmas, when I got one?
Tony: no
Sam: no
Steve: yes
Jason: you
Mikey: get
Beard: it.
What I'm trying to say is, last summer saw a bit of a change for J. M. Kramb. Lucija and cell phone are all it takes, I guess.
He's on it a lot. I mean a lot. Text messaging, calling, getting calls, gazing at it, whatever.
I understand the need to communicate. It doesn't even bother me that it's always the same person (and she isn't from America). That's fine.
The problem is that you really can't have something to say to the same person for three or four hours in a day. Christ, I can't entertain myself three to four hours a day. I don't know how they manage it.
Sometimes it got pretty bad. I mean, this might sound like pathetic whining, but the boy is just not the same. I can't enjoy shitty anime or Fox News with him while he's on the phone. It's like we've lost a family member. To cell phone.
Now he and I are in separate rooms, so I don't know how much he'll be using it. But I'm going to guess "too much."
"Fine," you say. "If you're a brilliant genius, how should people use cell phones?"
Well, they should almost never use them. Let me ask you: what would Jason and Lucija have done 30 years ago? Or 100 years ago?
They would've gone without talking to each other for a few minutes. They would have managed. So would you, girl who calls her friend across campus. So would you, guy who has the "I'm coming home now, I'll see you in a minute" conversations after every class.
Cell phones are nice for emergencies. They're nice--in moderation--for a case like Jason's, because it would be difficult to talk to Lucija in Arkansas or Montenegro any other way. They should not be used in place of just a little patience and some face-to-face conversation. They should not be permanent fixtures on the side of your head, like some technological cancer.
Cell phones are not making life easier. They're condemning you to meaningless, useless chatter in place of actual thought.
On the other hand, look where "actual thought" leads someone like me.
And as a final note, I'm not one of those people who thinks cell phones cause the death of society. First, I never thought society was exactly alive and well. Second, I don't confuse "cell phones" and "capitalism."
Okay, I'm done with that shit.
In other news, I watched about half of the fantastic film You Got Served with Beard, Jason and Tony the other day. We almost changed our idea from rap battles in our basement to dance battles on Woodland Avenue with cardboard on the streets. But we thought it was unlikely we could get Steve Harvey here.
He said "It's on!" during the movie. It was great.
And I guess that's about all. Please post a comment and let me know what I should review next. I'm leaning toward maybe a review of an issue of Flyer News. That would be funny to the 20 of us that read Flyer News.
Love,
Steve
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6 comments:
I think you should review yourself. That would be fun. And give Jason a break. I know you and the lvoely Teresa Marie do more than talk when you hang out but you guys spend a lot of time together, just as Jason and his girlfriend talk a lot. Maybe I'm just being defensive. Is it bad that I call my family on my cell phone and my friends I see once or twice a year? Add it to the list of my qualities which you don't like, huh? Oh, and the Flyer News review would be funny. Wait until my letter to the editor gets published though.
And how often do you ever see me on my cell phone? On a side note...what level are you?
I'm afraid to say this, but I think I agree with you. Moderation is key. Hell, I'm in about the same situation as Jason when it comes to his girlfriend. However, instead of having a cell phone glued to my head, hours and even, dare I say it, days will pass between cell phone calls. Cell phones are making life more convenient, however when used too much, they degrade from a communication device to a toy.
... or a form of masturbation. Jason's cell phone is no different than a dildo (not YOUR dildo, A dildo). Therefore it's ok to mock him for wanking to and from class.
I can't agree with the anonymous comments above.
I've never seen someone get much satisfaction from a cell phone.
I could see being against cell phones for the reason that the radiation can lower your sperm count over a lot of this arguing. Cell phones are a conveniency in the same way that instant messanger is. As much as it can replace real conversation in certain instances, I doubt there are many people who would argue that it's actually better than face-to-face conversation, aside from meetings with ugly people. It sounds more like you're blaming your friends' phones for them being impolite assholes.
Allow me to explain. Last year, my buddy Kyle had a long distance girlfriend who he would talk to over the phone or webcam. During any conversation, if he heard the phone ring, he would ditch you to talk to her. This is the same kind of behavior you've probably been observing. Problem is, Kyle never uses his cell phone. He constantly used the one in his dorm, displaying the same lack of tact or self-awareness as any of the cell phone users you've described.
You and I still talk on AIM full-knowing that there are douchebags out there who're asking each other for ASL LOL wana cybr?!!!
Don't blame technology for the idiots who inherit it.
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