I almost feel guilty, doing so little during study days.

Oh, study days.

You make me so fucking lazy.

Yesterday I went to Bob Evans with T until 12, then slept from 12 to 2.

Then I literally sat around doing nothing until about 5.

At 5 I called the cops. Some people across the street had a megaphone and were saying dumb stuff into it. Fine, whatever.

Then a girl walked by and they said--as I recall--"You have a nice heiny. I want to touch it."

Whoops. Time for the UDPD.

Unfortunately, the cops would be about 20 minutes. Fine. I would wait. But 15 minutes later, when the guys hadn't said anything else with the megaphone, I realized the cops wouldn't be able to do anything. Especially since Jonny G, Justin and Jason, who were all on our porch at the time, hadn't noticed the comment. So I called the cops back and told them to forget it.

Then Justin, G, Jason and I went to the Circle of Friends end of the year party at Carillon Park. Kathy is the president, and she told us to come. Free pizza.

Circle of Friends is the group on campus that works with local adults who are mentally handicapped. We played kickball. Justin, G, Jason and I were the outfield, meaning we laid in the grass and threw a frisbee to each other.

As mentally handicapped people do, these people wore their hearts on their sleeves. As always, this was a hilarious, exciting and painful experience.

Then I went to The Fever, a one-man play. Nick Bays, a graduating senior in theater, performed it. It was awesome.

Nick was an American in a "poor country" who wakes up feeling violently ill. He stumbles to the tiolet to vomit and overhears a crowd outside, where an execution is planned. From there, the character just takes off, describing his privileged childhood, the simplicity of his life, and the unfairness of global capitalism.

In the end, he rejects the life of his family and friends, and he faces the idea that his actions rarely match his ideals.

Maybe this will sum it up. After the show, I saw Nick and congratulated him, because he really did a great job. And he said, "I thought you would like that one."

It was really cool and if it wasn't over I'd recommend you go see it.

I only have one exam, and a couple papers. Then I'm 3/4 done...with undergrad.

Conversation with Alyssa only reminds me that I'm not ready for Chile. But I'm going soon anyway.

Second session of the summer I'll be in Dayton. Let me know if you'll be around.

Love,

Steve

At the request of Tom Hanlon, I get back to the blog.

Okay it's been a long long time.

1. Vonnegut class: currently two sections. OH MAN. It's getting somewhat exciting. I think right now there are 22 people total in it. I should probably prepare in some way.

2. Chile: iré a Santiago en cuatro semanas. Estoy muy nervioso, pero yo estado practicando con Alyssa y me mejoré mucho. I'm still sure that I'm going to be way over my head, but I'll understand a little bit.

3. Flyer News: only one more issue left this year, and I didn't submit anything. So my current standing is:
4 opinion articles (A, B, C, D) - D is my newest, Thomas "HAL" Hanlon.
4 responses (A, B, C, D)
about 7 or 8 personal e-mails ("I SUPPORT OUR TROOPS WHO ARE FIGHTING THE ISLAMOFASCISTS...")
and about 300 personal responses ("I saw your article! But I didn't read it.")

And there you have it. That's the update on my life.

Oh, I just read Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman. It's a book for my sociology class, and it's pretty awesome. It's about how TV ruins everything.

Okay so now I need to take a shower.

Hey I'll be in Dayton for the second summer session, starting June 24. Anyone need a roommate? I think I'd rather not live in Founders.

Okay go time.

Love,

Steve

Flyer News is getting interesting.

Remember that "Support Our Troops" article I wrote?

It didn't go over so well.

Witness:

http://www.flyernews.com/article.php?section=Opinions&volume=53&issue=38&artnum=05

and

http://www.flyernews.com/article.php?section=Opinions&volume=53&issue=38&artnum=06

My response will be coming soon. It will rock.

Here's a preview. I should warn you, it's currently over the 600-word limit recommended by Flyer News. So I might have to find some things to cut out by Sunday, when I submit it. We'll see. Enjoy.

Also: this article may not make sense without reading the two letters above.



I guess it’s good to know people are reading Flyer News.

First, let me acknowledge the dumb stuff in my previous article about “Support Our Troops” bumper magnets.

I shouldn’t have said “there is nothing you can do to support our troops.” That is a false exaggeration. As Melinda Warthman demonstrated in her letter to the editor, there are many things you can do, if you wish, to support American troops. This contrasts perfectly with the “bland statement” of “vague patriotic beliefs” that I think bumper magnets exemplify.

I was happy to read Warthman’s letter because it demonstrated that people do take action on issues like this. Whether it is supporting the military or any other issue, it is good to know some people take action for a cause if they believe in it.

I also regret not being very clear in certain areas, which probably led to Erik Elam’s letter.

I think he misunderstood the point of the article. My goal was to question one particular expression of patriotism. He seemed to believe the purpose was to disparage the military, which it was not. But, in order not to disappoint Elam, I can give him the article he was expecting.

He asked if I would step forward if the military were not in place. Answer: no.

There are plenty of things that I think I would die for. None of them is a nation, but things like equality, mercy and peace are so important to me that I would die for them.

But I can’t think of a single thing that I would kill for. I happen to think ending lives is wrong, and it’s not something that I take lightly.

I cannot grasp the logic that certain lives, American lives, are worth protecting, while other lives, foreign ones, are not. They are worth destroying, apparently.

And this is true of past wars along with current ones: I would not have killed foreign men and boys in World War II, Elam’s example, nor in any war since. Let me explain.

Elam was correct in recognizing that I am a Marxist, and as such, I know troops are not to be ridiculed. After all, they are too often men and women – barely beyond childhood – from lower social classes without many options. In every nation, they are used as tools to protect the interests of the upper classes, which includes most students at UD. So the ridicule and shame, the “looking down on” that Elam refers to, should be placed on us, not them.

This is why I compared the military to social welfare and public education: all three are ways for the ruling class to deal with the youth of the underclass. In a response to my article via e-mail, sophomore Michael Langlais unwittingly supported this: “I feel the military straightens out many youths that ‘social welfare’ and ‘public education’ leave behind.” The difference, of course, is that social welfare and public education don’t involve any killing at all. That’s why I think they are good alternatives to the military.

That’s also why I don’t hate the troops, and why I will not spit on them as people did during and after the Vietnam War. I know they are just doing what they’re told. Now, if I could spit on the decision-makers, the capitalists who direct them, I’m not sure I wouldn’t.

Through John Stuart Mill’s quotation, Elam criticized me for a “decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling.” I have thought deeply about this issue on moral grounds, and my verdict is that I will not kill people, and I will not suggest that killing can ever lead to peace. If peace is your goal, peace must be your instrument.

As for patriotic feeling: I never claimed to have it. As I said, I would not die or kill for this country, or any other in history. My state of patriotic feeling is about as decayed and degraded as possible.

Criticize me for that, if you wish. But I know I will never kill for this country, or for anything else. At least I cannot be criticized for that.


Let me know what you think.

My second opinion article.

Okay, apparently the Flyer News website still hasn't changed.

So here's my latest opinion article. It came out not too long ago, Thursday I think, and I've heard good things from some people already.

Always makes me feel special to know other people hold crazy opinions.

Enjoy.



“Support Our Troops” bumper magnets are meaningless feel-good gestures

Every time I get out and drive somewhere – which is not very often – I am always surprised by the number of yellow ribbon-shaped “Support Our Troops” bumper magnets I see.

Old beat-up trucks, new European cars, American minivans: all of them remind me to support our troops. They are often accompanied by their flag-colored cousins which say, I don’t know, “God Bless America” or something.

I have a few questions about that little command, “Support Our Troops,” but I’ve never been able to ask someone. I’m not bold enough to roll my window down at Stewart and Edwin C. Moses, I guess.

How, for example, should I support our troops? I pay taxes, and a healthy portion – or an unhealthy portion – of those go to the armed forces. Does that count?

Or should I volunteer? Is that what they want? Is it possible that every bearer of a “SOT” bumper sticker is a member of the Army Reserves or an armed forces recruiter?

No, that is not possible. If they were, those people would be guarding checkpoints in Iraq, not cruising down 75 North with their left turn signals terminally blinking.

So, please, what does “Support Our Troops” mean? How are they supporting our troops more than I am? What’s their secret?

Is it possible that the magnets don’t mean anything? Is it possible that, in a rush of post-9/11 patriotism, those people bought and applied a bumper magnet without considering that doing so does not, in fact, support our troops?

Of course, the magnets aren’t the real problem. I understand that all bumper stickers are essentially pointless self-serving phrases.

The difference between “Support Our Troops” and, say, “Meat Is Murder” is that one recommends a specific course of action – stop eating meat – and the other suggests a sort of bland thumbs-up nationalism with no actual action required.

I recognize that I have a bias here. I won’t tread lightly around it: I don’t care to support our troops at all. I just don’t think they’re as useful as social welfare programs or good public education.

Maybe that’s why I’m bewildered about the “SOT” magnets. I’ve never heard my conservative or patriotic friends complain that these magnets express an empty sentiment without requiring any real commitment.

In the “9/11 Never Forget” world, where flag-flying is the new national pastime, it seems blatantly obvious that these magnets just don’t do anything. I could convey a similar message with a bumper sticker that says something like “Hooray Peanut Butter!” or “I like socks.”

The people who display these magnets aren’t supporting our troops any more than I am. They’re just supporting a faceless corporation that manufactures bumper magnets.

And worse than the owners of other bumper stickers, they aren’t supporting a cause, either. They haven’t convinced me or anyone else to support our troops because there is nothing you can do to support our troops.

Please, if you want to make a political statement, go ahead. If you’re proud we invaded Iraq, or you hope we win the war, or you want us to invade North Korea and Iran, just say so. I’d like to see that.

But don’t send me the message that you don’t have a message. Don’t make a bland statement that just demonstrates that you hold vague patriotic beliefs.

Another polite reminder.

Please witness the Dolly Rebels' musical performance Saturday, April 1, at 8:00 in KU Pub. Admission is $3. Overwhelming sense of euphoria included.

Thank you.

Love,

Steve

Let me get this off my chest and move on.

Title: House of Leaves

Author: Mark Z. Danielewski

Publisher: Pantheon Books, 2000

I finished House of Leaves about a week ago, maybe more.

I would really rather not open it again.

First, the style:

This is what I would call a postmodern novel. In essence, that means it won't follow certain rules that one expects novels to follow. This includes publishing various editions of the text (see the bottom of this page), providing an unbelievable number of footnotes (here), and using multiple voices in the text.

At other points in the book, Danielewski bends the rules of presentation. Take this page, which is pretty representative of the book at its strangest. Elsewhere, pages contain one sentence or fewer, like this. The layout of the novel challenges expectations of what a novel is.

The story is even crazier. In fact, which story should I start with?

Zampano is an old blind man who dies. Johnny Truant finds Zampano's manuscript, The Navidson Record. Johnny Truant reads Zampano's book and slowly goes crazy transcribing it. What we read is mostly The Navidson Record by Zampano. The Navidson Record is about a movie, invented in Zampano's head, with the same title. In the movie, photojournalist Will Navidson, his partner Karen Green, and their children make a documentary about moving into their new house.

They soon discover this house is larger inside than outside--it has extra rooms, mysterious pitch-black freezing-cold rooms.

Wait, let me go back. Maybe "They SOON discover" is being too kind.

Zampano loves his digressions. And in his insane made-up world, The Navidson Record (the film) has a cultural impact on the level of the Bible. So every two pages or so, he stops and lets us know what the experts, the academics, the obsessive Navidson freaks--none of whom are real, remember--have to say. He has made-up quotes ranging from Good Housekeeping to Psychology Today. These account for many of the book's obscene number of footnotes.

So the story plays out pretty slowly, but it is interrupted every few pages by a rambling Johnny Truant footnote. Truant is an aimless drug addict, teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown. His footnotes wander aimlessly, grasping at some sort of bizarre half-reality in which he fears The Navidson Record and yet devotes his life to it.

Those are the players. Navidson, Zampano, Johnny Truant.

Now, let me go way back to when I first opened this book, in my parents' house, just before I came back here to Dayton at the end of spring break. My mom saw me with House of Leaves open and stopped in her tracks.
"Don't read that," she told me.
"Why not?" I asked.
"I tried to read it once. I had to put it down," she said. "It gave me a bad feeling."

Truly a ringing endorsement. But I pressed on. C'mon, it's a fucking book.

Well, in some ways I see what she meant. It's just not pleasant to read. Something about it is...not threatening, exactly, but upsetting. This is probably the most effective book I've ever read. It really makes you feel wrong.

At the same time, the layers of symbolism and hidden meaning are incredible. At least once a chapter, I would lower the book in shock because Danielewski just blew my mind again. The characters are perfectly crafted, and the action is so painfully paced--Zampano sets the story aside for six pages, then suddenly things are happening like crazy--that I couldn't put the book down, even though I knew it was making me feel bad.

The horror story is incredibly effective--I really care about the characters, I am really frightened by the mysterious evil, and I really want to know what the fuck is going on. Danielewski's greatest success, I think, is keeping the nameless terror in the void just beyond the reader's grasp.

The book is a success in many, many ways. Its haunting themes and eventual conclusion are wonderful. It truly is frightening and unsettling, and its characters are all fantastic.

So what does it do wrong? The same thing, I think, that At the Drive-In does wrong, for many people. It just won't stay put. It won't act right. In some sections, parts of words or entire words are missing, burned by ashes, Johnny Truant tells us. In other cases, Zampano has removed text with ink blots, which Johnny Truant represents with bold black XXXXs. The novel refuses to be contained, grasped, or mapped out. Its unrelenting confusion can turn people off.

That said, I've already had a few requests to borrow the book. Patrick Coate gets it first, and I'm sure he'll enjoy it. Mostly.

Oh, I never explained why the word house is always presented in blue. This occurs in the book, of course, and it is never explained there. In fact, it's thrown in the reader's face in the index (of course House of Leaves has an index); the index reads "house (blue)," followed by many entries, and "house (black)...DNE". So there. I don't know why he does it, but it adds to the unsettling feeling in its own way.

Summary: House of Leaves is one of the most challenging books I've read recently. It defies explanation. It is only approachable as an engima, a wall to climb, and its success lies in puzzling and disturbing the reader. Don't come to this book lightly.

Grade: I'm very tempted to give House of Leaves two grades; one if you're ready for the book and one if you aren't. But I think I'll settle for a B. I don't think it did anything wrong, and I don't think it could be improved in any way, so in that way it gets an A. Ultimately, though, I can't give something an A if I don't think people will like reading it. Think of shredder guitarist Steve Vai. He doesn't play poorly, but he sure shouldn't get an A--I can't get through two of his songs myself. So:

Grade: B.

Please, ask any questions you have. I'd be glad to deflect and ignore them.

One more thing: any day now, my new opinion article should appear at the Flyer News website. It's a good one. Enjoy.

Love,

Steve

A few Internet discoveries, and another empty promise.

Hello again.

I don't care much for the Internet. It can never replace the telegraph machine, as far as I'm concerned, or a letter in the mail. And nothing beats a good old smoke signal.

But I'll admit the Internet has its benefits. Take Dinosaur Comics at qwantz.com. These are funny. I like them. Click the line of text right under "Dinosaur Comics" to go to a random strip. The great part: every strip is the same except the dialogue! Every single strip looks the same! It's the funniest, laziest thing I know. But the dialogue is glorious and I love it.

Next up: I might be getting obsessed with Dave Eggers, but I didn't do this all on my own. Renata Marchione pointed me to the McSweeney's website, which is just amazing. Eggers and some others founded McSweeney's, which is a journal that I've technically never read. But I love Eggers (1, 2), so I figured I'd love McSweeney's website.

It is hilarious. McSweeney's offers pages and pages of ridiculous essays and these made-up lists that seriously had Renata and I dying of laughter at work. Take Authorial Candy Bars,with Their Respective Tag Lines,That Weren't as Successful as the Oh Henry! Candy Bar, by Jonathan Shipley. Or Methods Other Than Song by Which One Can Be Killed Softly, by Jonathan Holley and Emily Lawton. Just the title of that one made me kind of giggle. Or even Good Casino Ads / Bad Things for Someone to Say About Your Mom by Molly Dolan. I admit I'm just picking these at random. Don't get started on these if you have something important to do. But they're wonderful.

Here's the empty promise: a review is coming soon! I'll break down House of Leaves for you into small, manageable, easy-to-understand parts. Of course I am lying. But I'll do what I can.

So look forward to that.

And see the Dolly Rebels Saturday, April 1, between 8 and 12 in the KU pub. $3. 25 minutes. It's worth it.

Love,

Steve

Remember when Mikey had a blog? For like one day? DOMINATED

The big news:

The Vonnegut class is approved. It should appear on the website around Friday, according to the person in the Continuing Education Office.

The other big news:

The Dolly Rebels (we should really get a new name, maybe) are playing SATURDAY, APRIL 1 in the Battle of the Bands. It will be thrilling. If you have a soul, come see it. $3. KU Pub. 8 PM.

The lesser news:

A review of House of Leaves will be coming soon. If I can handle it.

I volunteered Saturday morning at a place called House of Bread, giving breakfast to the homeless in Dayton. It was fun.

And that's just about it.

Love,

Steve

A return, perhaps?

I have to resist the urge to present this post in multiple fonts, footnoted, and arranged at random.

See, I've been reading House of Leaves, a novel by Mark Z. Danielewski. It's a little difficult to explain.

Let's call it a postmodern novel. It has stories inside stories, and it's just really schizophrenic and frightening. It's a horror story, and it really is scary, on multiple levels. I love it. I'm not sure a review could really do it justice, but we'll see.

On other topics...

Vonnegut class: still no word from those heathens in the Continuing Education Office. Apparently they haven't decided yet. GRRRRAR I'LL EAT YOU
Chile: still going there. Nothing new to say, I guess. I still suck remarkably at Spanish.
NEW ADDITION Grad school: fuck grad school. Teresa just started looking at med schools, which made me realize I need to start on grad schools, and it's just overwhelming. Where'd I put that cardboard box?

Hey, I got an email from my friend and former supervisor at Stuart Hall, Charles Kellom, yesterday. It contained a letter to the editor of Flyer News that he wanted them to publish. It's a response to the response to my article on reparations.

It hasn't been published yet on http://www.flyernews.com, but it will be soon. Perhaps when you read this. So go to that link, then check the "Opinion" headlines for anything referring to reparations.

I read over Charles' letter, and I declare him the winner. Done. Don't argue it.

What should my next opinion article be? I already wrote one on irrelevant national news and another about those little yellow "God Bless America" or "Support Our Troops" car magnets.

WHAT NEXT WILL EARN MY WRATH?!?!

Lastly, I demand you go to this website: http://www.qwantz.com. GLORIOUS!

Love,

Steve

Yes, I am still terrible at posting regularly.

Hello again friends,

Sorry I've been lazy. Here's what's happening:

I am currently copying my notes onto a take-home test. I mean, I'm literally spitting the words right back to Dr. Dan Miller.

It's an interesting class, and I feel like I learn a lot, but this test isn't measuring that at all. It's measuring class attendance as much as anything else.

I got a response to my reparations article. It's located here. Think what you want of it. I'm offended that he called my article a "letter to the editor." I'm on the staff, FUCKBAG!

No, really, his arguments are not great, in my opinion. Particularly the early paragraph that begins "Now compound that argument...". That paragraph is a shame to reasoning.

Still, it's nice to get something besides certified anencephalitic Karl Gustavson ranting in the opinion pages.

What should my next article be about? I'm leaning toward the national TV news channels' tendency to report "shit stories"--see Neil Entwistle, Natalee Holloway, Jennifer "The Runaway Bride" Wilbanks, and many, many others. We get CNN, CNN Headline News, and Fox News here at UD, channels 6, 5, and 4. I swear, at one point all three were reporting on the same CAR CHASE in ATLANTA that DID FUCKING NOTHING!!!!

Dear God! Isn't there an expert on, I don't know, ANYTHING that you guys could be interviewing right now?!?!?! I'd rather hear you talk for hours about relations between India and Pakistan, or Israel and Palestine, or Lebanon and Syria, or fucking South Africa and Never Never Land rather than some idiot bullshit that just doesn't matter outside of that family or town.

Please, keep it to the local news. It's ridiculous. Johnzo (John Gueltzow, my neighbor and the managing editor of Flyer News) says he saw a Daily Show episode in which they reported that Fox News covered Neil Entwistle for TWELVE HOURS in a 24-hour span.

For those who don't recall: Neil Entwistle is that guy who doesn't fucking matter.

So I think that's my next article. Any other suggestions?

Anyway, tomorrow starts spring break. Back to Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. See some of you there.

Love,

Steve